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This article, Novel mutagenic properties of imulsion extract, was written by RelentlessRecusant. Please do not edit this fiction without the writer's permission.


Novel mutagenic properties of imulsion extract

DeMarshall et. al. (2531). Department of Epidemiology and Department of Cancer Biology, Bastion Public Health Service. Nature (538): 1749—1953.

With the advent of the recently-described Lightmass Process [Cooper et. al (2529). Nature (495): 1-13], the natural ambient substance imulsion, both in its crude and refined forms, has been extensively exploited as a novel and naturally-sustainable source for highly efficient energy generation. In this study, we describe a retrospective epidemiological study that investigated the unusual enrichment of specialized cancers, limb malformations, and gross anatomical abnormalities in Bastion civilians exposed to high concentrations of natural imulsion. Upon further investigation and a cross-sectional study, we find that an extraordinarily high number of human adults (>60%) that are exposed to high concentrations (≥6 Cooper units / day) of imulsion exhibit novel extensive anatomical and physiological pathologies. To the best of our knowledge, this is the first time that imulsion has been documented to have mutagenic properties in the human, and our findings suggest substantial dangers associated with imulsion harvesting and processing operations that expose workers to high concentrations of imulsion extract.

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